Family · Life

Finding a Balance


Finding a balance in your relationship after a baby can be hard. Let me tell you it hasn’t been easy. 

Let me give you a little of my fiancé & mines history. We met in the summer of 2006 as teenagers and dated for a few months and broke up. We just stopped all contact. I had my daughter in 2010 and her father and I just didn’t work out. Samuel (partner) was a person I always wondered about what happened to him. I tried actually a few times to search him on social media, but I could not to save my life remember his last name or what small town he was from. So when we dated back in the day we took these “glamour shot” pictures lol. So I came across a picture of this picture in 2013 and decided to search him again. I then remembered the small town where he was from. So there goes my search and I found a page but I couldn’t tell if it was him or not because he had sunglasses and covered his forehead. So I thought well I’ll just friend request and see what happens. Not even a few moments later I see an accepted request and a message from him saying “omg is this who I think it is?” So at that time we both had our own things going on and remained friends. Then in 2014 time permitted that we were able to try things out as a couple. 

It has been a major roller coaster to say the least. Sam’s father had been sick and passed away in February of 2015 and we found out we were pregnant in March 2015. So being pregnant for literally the whole 2015 was rough. I had an easy pregnancy compared to most but I wasn’t the nicest person or as lovable as I was before. So November 2015 our amazing baby boy Samuel Jr was born. 

Mom is now my title all over again, if you’ve read my blog you know I have a 6 year old. So it’s been quite a while since I took care of a newborn. I was so wrapped up in being MOM that I literally forgot that I need to be a partner to Samuel. He had told me several times that I wasn’t giving him the attention that he needed. And to myself I’m literally thinking I’m trying and that I just had a baby. The whole baby “excuse” was just not working. Not that I used it as an excuse but I want to make sure I give my children my attention 24/7. It literally caused arguments once or twice a week. Arguing can be more tiring than actually trying in the relationship. So we just had to finally figure out what would work for us.We have progressed since then and doing much better. It’s the little things that matter & the bigger things too. Showing affection and being intimate is a big thing. Even if I am tired or worn down being able to kiss your partner or be intimate can change both of your moods. Relaxing together and watching a movie, talking about something we both find interesting, eating out together and just acknowledging each other.

So moms out there don’t stress if your partner doesn’t understand and sometimes he won’t if your pregnant or post partum. It has taken is a few months to get back to “Us”. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Do remember that your partner needs attention too.

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3 thoughts on “Finding a Balance

  1. Thanks for the honesty! I just had my daughter in January and there are times that I feel really guilty that I can’t give my husband the attention he deserves all the time. It has definitely been a journey to find “us” again after baby.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think this is very normal! It took awhile but other things were thrown in too! Finding a grove is important. We have to remember that we are more than just mom and our relationships were there first and to stay together we have to work hard and remember the other is first!

    Liked by 1 person

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